Stepping out

I think that God has been challenging me to step outside of myself, I really am starting to realise that I am only going to get a job by doing stuff that I wouldn't normally do. And I started on Saturday, during the week I was Christmas shopping (nearly done!) and I saw a store that I like to shop in had an advertisement for Christmas Casual positions. But to apply you had to drop in your resume in store, there was no e-mail address.

So I went home and wrote up a generic cover letter and print multiple copies along with my resume, and on Saturday I went down to the shop and dropped off my resume (along with alittle prayer). I know that it was the right thing to do because on the drive down I didn't feel anxious or nervous. Which I know was all because of God because I always feel nervous and anxious with anything to do with dropping off my resume and doing interviews. But I have been doing alot of praying for guidance and I am sure now that god has been answering those prayers and has given me a sense of carm and confidence.

You really do have to just take that step, even if nothing ever comes of it. I don't know if I am going to get this Christmas casual position but I do feel good about taking the chance and giving it a try.

I have been able to pick up some work lately, my husbands store is coming up to the end of year stocktake so my wonderful husband has hired me to help out with some of the preparation needed before stocktake. It isn't alot, just labeling once a week for 2 or so weeks, then the day before helping count the stock then on the day I think I am going to be doing the catering for those who are doing the final scanning and entering. It isn't much but I am thankful to be doing something, it felt so good to be working. I have such a wonderful husband who has been worrying about me and wants to do anything he can for me I am a very lucky person.

Late night post

I have been staying up late alot lately, I really enjoy this time of night. It is a peaceful quite and there is no pressure to do anything. Nothing has to happen, everything can wait for the morning. But there is a downside, I have to go to bed eventually.....especially since I have been forcing myself to get up at 8am every morning or there abouts.

I also find that this is when I feel the most peaceful, don't really know why. There is really nothing special about this time of the day that would make me feel peaceful. Guess I am just a night owl. Always have been, and I am defiantly not a morning person, there is a joke in the family that I am best at about noon and then it is all down hill from there.

Still haven't heard about the job that I interviewed for on Wednesday, I am hoping and praying that they needed the weekend to think about who they want to employ. I think that my application really throw a spanner in the works for their decision making process. But I will probably defiantly take a sense that I am someone who can impress, that my resume can catch a potential employers eye. That is a good thing.

Well blog readers I should go to bed, the one thing I have learnt during these last couple of months is that you have to keep going. Everyday you get up and go on with life is one day closer to getting your new job.

What's in my bag?

This is something I saw on one of my fav blogs, it is such a fun idea and was a great distraction to photograph.

The handbag was a Christmas gift last year from my sister, it is a bag I probably wouldn't have bought for myself but I love it.

I have the usual stuff in my bag, sunglasses, wallet, keys and mobile phone (not pictured it was charging!). The small bag in the top corner is for medication, lip balm and mints (particularly important with job interviews), I have had this bag for ages but have only been carrying it in my handbag for a couple of months.

Sanitising gel, I am allergic to soap so can't use the soap to wash my hands in public toilets. Manicure kit in a cute little re & white poke-a-dot case, I also carry a fold up enviro-bag. Quite a few retailers are starting to charge for the use of plastic bags and we always try to do everything that we can to reduce the amount of waste that we as a family produce.

Brush, notebook and pen I am such a note taker and a list keeper, guess that it comes from the over organised person inside of me. My MP3 player lives in a cute little green bag with a little asian doll on the front, I got in from Smiggle love that store, so much funky stationary. I am a bit of a stationary addict.

These two things in my handbag are probably the most important to me, my small digital camera. I am a scrapbooker so having a camera with me always means that I don't miss the important moments. And the small white bible, this particular bible doesn't matter but it is what is inside that touches me on a daily basis, God's word. Where ever I am I know that God's word is with me, it is very comforting.

Lastly my glasses, I have two these are my husbands favourites green and funky, I also have another pair that have cute butterflies down the side (see my previous blog to get a close look at my glasses).

I do rather have alot of things in my handbag, always like to be prepared for anything. Things like my camera, glasses and enviro-bag do migrate in and out of my handbag depending on where I am going and what I am going to be doing. But there are alot of times when I carry all of the above, now that I have looked at it all spread out I think that I'm nuts! But I am glad that I am always ready for anything, and that is not a bad thing.

Let me know what is in your hand bag.

Something that spoken to my heart

I was doing my bible reading this morning and this verse which I had previously highlighted but still loved the words, and I think that it was something that I needed to hear.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:2

I have been learning to rely on God more in my daily life, especially now with my unemployment which I have been struggling with. The enemy has been flooding my head some days with negative thoughts and guilt, but I have been fighting those thoughts and feelings. And this verse certainly does help the fight. No matter how I feel or what is going on God will not leave me, He has always been there, and when things are at it's worse I can rest in His embrace until I am strong enough to continue on.

I don't think that I have ever been so focused on fully relying on God this much before, I know through talking with my Pastor and my wonderful husband that I have to turn to God in this time, and He will give me the strength and guidance that I need. And that is so true, I can a test to that.

If that is one piece of advice that I can give to anyone who is unemployed and is struggling with depression and guilt, turn to God open a Bible and start reading. Also pray daily for guidance and strength.

God's hand clear & loud

I really thought that my job interview was just like any other interview that I have had, I mean so happy and blessed to have gotten it. But other than that it was going to be like any other interview, I was very very wrong.

Turns out that God had a big hand in me getting this interview. I know that God has had a hand in all the interviews that I have had, just with this one I was able to see clear as day God's hand. While I was at the interview that lady I was interviewing with 'H' told me that the newspaper (found the job ad on the newspaper website) had put the wrong closing date on the ad, and in fact the ad had closed weeks previous to me sending in my resume. She had received hundreds of late application letters and only opened 5, one of those was me. And of that 5 mine stood out and I got an interview, which was way after the official interviews. During the interview the fact that I had a short work history was a sign of loyalty, which they were looking for, and my history of having to look after my Mum after graduating from Uni showed how important family was to me, again what they are looking for. And my work as a youth leader with church show them my leadership skills and my ease with working with teenagers, there will be about 4 junior casuals working for the business, also my involvement and importance of church show that I had a grounding in the community and had a good support base.

I honestly couldn't believe it, everything that I always worry about telling/explaining to prospective employers my short work history, why I never used my degree, the importance of church most employers don't seem to understand or respect any of that. But H saw everything as a positive and was exactly the qualities that they were looking for.

I find out tomorrow if I have gotten the job, I have been praying that I do. I mean God's hand was so evident, He made sure that I got that interview. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I will pray for the job. I do desperately want this job, it seems like I was meant for it, but I am so scared of that thought. Scared of the disappointment if I don't get the job, but I have to trust God. He is the one who got me this interview, have to trust.

Though no matter what the outcome this interview has defiantly given me a boost in how I feel about myself, it made me feel good about myself and have to say alittle confident in myself.

Remembering

Today is Remembrance Day, a day that we take time to pause and think about those who scarified their lives to protect the freedom that we enjoy in this country. I also think that it has also become a day when you think about those Defence Force personnel who are currently serving overseas. I think of my brother, who thankfully isn't overseas but I know that could change, I also think of those Australian solders who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan in recent years. During my minute silence at 11am I am going to pray for the end of all wars and conflict, and for the families who have already lost a son, brother, husband or father.

On another note I have a job interview today, well this evening to be exact. It has been a while since I have had an interview. There is only one problem, the person who I spoke to on the phone with didn't say what the job interview was for. I think that I know what job it is but I am not 100% sure. This unfortunately means that I can't do much in the way of preparation, normally I would try to research the company or work place which can be great to be able to guess what some of the questions could be. I am not worried, have no reason to be. Please pray for me at 5:30pm when I'll be at my interview. I really feel that this interview does have alot of promise.

Sorry I've been gone

Well it has been awhile, another new month has begun. Nothing really has changed since this time last month. Still unemployed, still searching. Honestly things have been getting harder, those negative thought have been alittle hard to silence at the moment. Though I havn't been being as proactive as I possibly should be with keeping active. I seem to have slipped into sitting on the couch, eating and watching the clock waiting for my husband to come home.

That has got to change, and it will change. Next week I am going to get into the garden, I am going to clean the house, sort my scrapbooking room and reorganise the kitchen if I have to. But there is no way I can let these voices beat me.

It would have to be one of the hardest things, silencing the voices. They seem to be getting louder and louder lately. My Pastor said that I have to think of something else that those voices could do me alot of harm (mentally). It is really hard to make purposeful changes to your inbuilt behaviour. I have to come up with a list of things that I can look forward to, things to aim for. That I think will be the secret of surviving this chapter of my life, this turning point. Please pray for strength for me.

Something I should have done, and highly recommend

Last Friday while me and my husband were at our church's youth group, and I was chatting with our Pastor he was asking how I was going. Just after I got fired I had asked to get some counseling so I could just work through how I was feeling, but things came up and I was able to go through with the counseling. On Friday night our Pastor brought up the counseling and I thought that it was a good idea.

So that is where I went today; and honestly I am glad that I did. It was just nice to talk about everything, not just about losing my job but also about other things in my life that have or are affecting me. He also helped me develop a sort of plan of attack, especially when it comes to the negative thoughts from the enemy that can sometimes get into my head.

1/ Recognise the negative thoughts for what they are and make an effort change my thinking to something more positive.

2/ Set a side 1 to 3 afternoons a week as active job search days, where I drop off resumes search the internet and go and join job agencies.

3/ Go and do some work with a volunteer organisation, thinking about going back to work for a rainforest reserve or local zoo.

4/ As a last resort think about furthering my education, doing a bridging course and becoming a teacher (not sure about this one, not sure if teaching is really for me)

The most important thing is that I have someone other than my husband to be accountable for. That I think is going to be the key to fighting the negative thought and depressive feelings that I have been struggling with.

I am so blessed to have such a caring and supportive Pastor, sometimes you can feel alittle isolated when you have been unemployed for an extended period of time but my Pastor didn't forget, and has always just checked in from time to time. Counseling is something that I totally recommend, especially if you can find some who you can be accountable to, especially if you are finding it hard to stay motivated. Which I am starting to find difficult.

My Pastor did bring up something that I hadn't thought of but know of all to well, that I have to be open that my not having a job right now could have a really important reason behind it. I have experienced that often in the last few years, I was at the first job for 5 years I didn't like the job and tried everything to get another job. Then my Mum had to be hospitalised with depression for a whole year and I had to look after her and my siblings as my Dad had to move north for work. Then a few years later Mum suffered complications from some heart surgery and I sat by her side and helped Dad look after himself and my sister. I wouldn't have been able to be there for my family if not for my boss at my first job, he allowed me to reduce my hours where needed and have time off when I required it, he was a blessing and I am very grateful for him. I have had opportunity to help friends and family over the last month and a bit (which I have spoken about in previous blogs).

Ultimately I know that God has a plan for my life, just don't know what that plan is or what will happen in the future. Who knows we might start a family and won't have to worry about finding a new job at all, well...God knows, he just won't let on. But I will keep praying and reading my bible, oh yeah and having faith.

Networking

It is one piece of advise that you always hear from 'experts', when you are looking for a job. Use the people you know as a network to find where the jobs are. Didn't really think that this was going to work for me, honestly I would feel bad asking friends and family if there was any jobs going at their places of work.

But I was wrong, I can't remember how it started but I have been emailing a friends who works at a local TAFE campus who has been keeping an eye out for work. She has even giving me a number of a person who I can get into contact with. I am very grateful to my friend, it is nice to not feel alone. Sometimes you can feel very alone, cause unless someone is actually unemployed then no one else really knows what it feels like. But it is really nice to have someone take it upon themselves to help in anyway that they can.

I have been applying for a few jobs every week, there are not as many Christmas casual position around as I would have thought, but I guess that probably reflects this whole GFC (Global Financial Crisis) that businesses aren't hiring extra staff for the Christmas season. Which is a shame for myself, being able to atleast get some Christmas casual work would mean that I could still exercise my skills in the retail field and I do believe that it would count for me when going for interviews.

I decided that it was a good idea to get some counseling from my Pastor. This is probably something that I should have started a month ago, I still feel very lost and I really think that I am starting to lose a bit of momentum. Finding it hard to just sit infront of the computer searching for job, writing cover letters and filling in application forms. It is getting harder and harder. So I am hoping that getting some counseling will help me kick myself back into action. because if you are really want to find work, then searching for work should be your full time job. You should put as much effort into finding a job as you would if you were going to work everyday.

No dig garden pictures!

I pretty happy with what I was able to achieve in one afternoon. Doesn't look like much but I have lettuce & brown onions already planted, also garlic. Hopefully they will really shoot up soon.

Though with all the hot weather we have been having I am having to water on a daily basis, so I will probably have to put in a irrigation system.

The no dig garden method has worked really well, it was easy and I didn't have to dig up a patch of ground that I knew was filled with palm tree roots. Hate palm trees

My husband now wants me to trim more of this palm tree that you can see at the top of the second picture back more so its easier for him to mow around it. Oh well, another task to add to my list.

Also noticed today that some of the seeds I planted in preparation for this new veggie garden have started to germinate, not sure what has actually germinated but I am sure that that little mystery will get cleared up as the plants get bigger. I now though have to find something else to plant the plants in when they get alittle bigger before planting them in the ground, want them to be alittle bit more established. Currently the seeds are germinating in egg cartoon, the lids I have found are the best. Think that I might use the rest of the egg cartoon (the bit where the eggs sit) to plants the small plants into so they can get really good root system established.

We had a lovely luch under our big tree with my family today, my brother was up from his airbase (he is an Aviation technition in the Airforce) so me and my husband thought that a BBQ was in order. We don't get to see my brother all that often as he is really busy. I made rissols and a salad and we all had a great time eatting and laughing. I am truly thankfull to God for my family, I am very lucky to have them.

No dig all done

Finally got into the garden today and built my no-dig-veggie-garden, I will defiantly post some pictures tomorrow (promise!) I was just too tired after I finished. I planned to go out at about 1-2pmish to avoid the heat of the day, that didn't work within 20mins I was dripping with sweat. but it was worth it. So far we only have 6 lettuce plants and some brown onion plants but as soon as the tomato plants & basil plants germinate there will be more for the new veggie patch. I will also be getting some carrots.

I really enjoyed building the veggie patch this afternoon. Something about being outside and just letting the hours pass moving dirt and playing with water. Above all else this garden means that I am contributing to the grocery bill, and it is healthier for us.

I am just so happy about what I have been able to achieve in one afternoon, I know that I can do almost anything that I set my mind to, and alittle planning too. It has taken me three days to get this veggie patch going. I don't like to do things too quickly, I find that you don't do things well if you do things too quickly. There really is nothing wrong with doing alittle planning before doing anything.

I plan to the point where I have a written plan of my new veggie patch and am already mentally planning the idea of having a compost heap or worm farm. Thinking the later is the best bet as we don't produce alot of scraps only being the two of us. There I go! More planning, I really think that my natural want to plan is the key to surviving being unemployed, though it is still important to remember that ultimately no matter how much I plan I am not incharge and that God has a plan for me.

Tomorrow I am itching to get into the garden again, this time I want to weed some of the other garden beds. We also have Youth Group tomorrow night, we are playing basketball, which means that we will have a good turn out. We have a big turn out when we play netball and basketball is more of a game that more of the Youth (particularly the boys) enjoy so we could very well have a huge turn out!

Much needed Mojo boost

Today was soooo what I needed and I didn't even know it. My friend invited me over for a scrapbooking day, I pack up the holiday album that I havn't been doing anything about and printed off enough photos to complete 6 pages and off I went.

Honestly wasn't sure that I wanted to go, think that was probably the depressive feelings talking. Didn't want to waste petrol or have to be around other people. But my ever wonderful, knows what is good for me husband said that he would leave work and drive me if I didn't go myself. So I went....and I am very glad that I did (don't tell my husband :-) ). It was so nice sitting there and chatting with friends and getting back to a hobby that I love very much. I think that I have been neglecting something that would make me feel really good.

Best thing is that I was able to complete all 6 pages that I brought photos for, which was great 'cause they just came together quite smoothly. One I am very proud of, and it was probably the one that came together the fastest.

That is one thing that I learnt today, I shouldn't neglect my passion. My husband says that I have a talent, and if that is true then that is something that God gave me. Something that I am suppose to enjoy, and shouldn't just close the door on this hobby.

Funny how when things get tight, money wise anyway. Things you find just simply enjoyable you feel guilty for enjoying them. That really shouldn't be, these are the times for these hobbies and activities, if you feel good and happy then that will come across in interviews and in life in general. And for me personally anything that keeps me busy and thinking positive is a good thing.

One a slightly different topic we found out today that my husband's brother and his wife are expecting their second child. About 5 weeks along, they already have one son who we love very much and love having him over. And the family is looking forward to meeting this new addition to the family.

Just when I thought I was winning

The battle against my depressive feelings was something I thought I was winning, I had a great plan for today and the rest of the week. I was feeling quite good, considering. Then the phone rang.....it was the person that I had the interview with last Monday. She said that they didn't have any positions for me, I was glad being actually told but it was a bit of a kick in the guts. And it was the end of my motivation for the day.

The one thing I have been afraid of is getting so down that I just retreat inside myself and sit on the couch all day eating and watching bad day time TV. Day time TV is always bad. I really thought that I was doing well, but this has just shown me that I still have a long way to go.

We were at friends of our yesterday for lunch after church, and we were talking about unemployment and people who are dole bludgers. And it came up that on average people at the moment (in this economic climate) are without work for 140days, I have been unemployed for about 1 month, so about 30 days. I found that 140days quite depressing, but I am still determined that I am going to get a job, this is one of the best times to be looking for work. This time of the year is prime for employers to be looking for more employees, I wouldn't mind Christmas casual work atleast it would be extra money over the Christmas season.

Ok, now I have to try again tomorrow. I am going to wake up and actually do stuff not sit around and feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow is always another day, God has a plan and I just have to wait.

I have a plan....No digging!

I have wanted to get a new veggie patch going, since our other one was shaded out by our neighbours trees. But finding a new place to build a veggie patch hasn't been easy, our backyard has a beautiful big tree right in the middle that unfortunately casts shade on one side of the backyard in the morning, and casts a shadow on the other side in the afternoon. Makes it difficult, but up against the fence there is a space that I think that I can build a garden. It is right next to a old palm tree, which have a nightmare of a root system, so I don't think that I am going to dig a garden. So I found....No Dig Garden.

This concept that I have heard before and I found this website No Dig Vegetable Garden and I found that it is an easy to do concept.

Basically what you do is make layers on top of the dirt/grass/concrete hence 'no dig', the recipe I am going to use is basically;

Layer 1 - cardboard/newspaper 5mm depth
Layer 2 - hay (but I am going to use sugarcane mulch as I already have a bale) 10cm depth
Layer 3 - Fertiliser/manure 20mm depth
Layer 4 - Straw (again I am using sugarcane mulch) 20cm depth
Layer 5 - Fertiliser / manure 20mm
Layer 6 - Compost 10cm

Then you water the garden bed, and that's it. I did find on the site in a discussion board that when you plant you make a hole and add some more compost or potting mix. The thing that I really like is that planting can happen straight away. I am going to get the boxes from my husbands work and the manure & compost from Bunnings. So hopefully by this time tomorrow I should that a new veggie patch up and running. Yeah!

I'll try to remember to take some pictures and I'll post them later this week.

On the job front I didn't get the job that I had an interview for at the beginning of the week, I really love the feeling when you get an interview. You get this great feeling that you are a worthy person, that you have worth. Now I must make it clear that my worth does come from my relationship with my Heavenly Father, but being unemployed does make you feel less than human alittle. The worse feeling is after the interview is over and all you have to do is wait, waiting is the hardest. And the longer you wait the more your self worth feels like it is being sucked out.

I really don't know how people willingly stay unemployed, I find it so hard. I have to make specific plans and lists to keep myself as busy as possible just to stop myself from getting down and depressed. But I will keep going, I need to get a job, so we can save more and get our house sooner. It is really good to have that goal, something to look towards.

For Today 17th October 2009

Found this on The Simple Women's Daybook, great idea and reminds me to be aware of the simple things and how blessed I really am.



Outside my window... A starlite sky, looks like a black satin sheet with fairy lights stuck in it. So incredibly beautiful, the stars go on forever. Psalm 147:4 He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.



I am thinking... About the BBQ we are having with some of our friends tomorrow, and how nice it will be to sit back and just hang out with friends.



I am thankful for... This house, the fact that we have the best landlords that have a tendency to forget that we are renting off them.



From the kitchen... Honey & Sesame chicken, new recipe and it certainly went down well. Defiantly think that it will become apart of a normal dinner routine. Also made a batch of chocolate chip cookies (yummy!)



I am wearing... My favourite clothes, PJ's! I love to be comfortable, and the most comfortable thing to wear is defiantly my PJ's. Stay in them all day if it wouldn't look alittle strange.



I am creating... An album about our holiday to Cairns this year, also planning some monogram artwork for our bedroom wall.



I am going... Around in circles, which is how I have been feeling lately. I have been unemployed for about a month now and I do feel alittle lost.



I am reading... The bible, one thing that I am glad about being unemployed about I have really been able to sit down and read the bible and do a daily devotion. Though I have been feeling alittle lost getting into God's Word has really kept me from spinning out of control.



I am hoping... For a job to come along before Christmas.



I am hearing... Taggart, a TV show about a Scottish Detective. We love British crime drama, though I have watched so many crime dramas that usually I can guess what is going to happen before it happens.



Around the house... Things seem bigger, I have been doing alot of cleaning and reorganised of late. Being that our house doesn't have alot of built in storage (pretty much none) reorganising has to happen alot.



One of my favorite things... Our pet bird Curio, brings so much joy to my life. He spent most of the day today outside in his cage with me singing to all the other birds.



A few plans for the rest of the week: Build a veggie patch in the backyard to replace the old one that has been shaded out by our neighbours trees, and apply for more jobs.



Here is picture for thought I am sharing...


















Revelations 3:18 here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and open the door, I will come in and eat with them, and they with me.

This picture comes from the Hubble telescope ( http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/entire/pr1992017a/), though it isn't on that I have taken. It is a picture that I have been feeling very inspired and bowled over by.

As promised

Pair one, my husband likes these ones the best.

Pair two, I like these ones best. Don't know if you can see them well, but there are butterflies on the side of these glasses.

Amazing things

Yesterday I was feeling down, funny how when you have been feeling down simple things can really pick you up. This morning I got up and cleaned the house, which is a surprisingly gratifing activitity. So gratifying that I even went to the trouble of cobwebing with tea tree oil (which helps to deter the spider from coming back). The house always feels bigger when it is freshly clean, though I don't think that our pet bird liked the vacum cleaner around his cage and favourite perch.

But the best thing about today was my new glasses finally turned up. A friend of ours told us about this website that she uses to buy her glasses, you can get a pair of glasses for as little as $8. I got two pairs for about $45, including postage and handling (I think). I have been waiting for these glasses for about 2 weeks now, I lost my last pair of glasses and have been getting loads of headaches. Funny thing is that I found my glasses that I lost on Monday while me and my husband were preparing for a bushwalk. I am going to give my old glasses to charity, there is a collection spot at my local shopping centre, they recycle the glasses and give them to poor people in thrid world countries.

It is amazing how simple things can really lift the way that you feel, I am going to have to try every day to focus on the simple things and not think about the fact that I don't have a job and all I really do all day is wait for my husband to get home. I think that is a really struggle for people who are unemployied, especially me. Have to give yourself things to achieve and be able to feel good about.

I'll post some pictures this week of my new glasses, they are so cute! Amazing how the little things can make your whole out look on things change.

This what it feels like....

I was reading my daily devotion this morning and I came across something that is so obvious but I had not thought about.

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.
Ecclesiastes 7:14

It came with the description 'Good times' can be less helpful than 'tough times'; and the 'hard times' can be better for you than the 'easy times'. Whatever changes and challenges come your way; whether planned or unexpected, whether you feel like you're going forward or sliding backwards - God is waiting for you to turn to him and know him.

I am defiantly going through 'hard times' at the moment, looking for work and going to interviews has been really hard especially emotionally. I will say the worse thing is being at home, especially when there is nothing to do, I just feel lost and very lonely. These are the times when I find myself wanting to pick up my bible and read, God is waiting for me.

My daily devotion comes from Word 4 U 2 day from UCB, you can get your own copy at their website www.word4u2day.com.au (only available postage in Australia), you can also read their devotions online.

Straight from Heaven

I will admit that through my life not too many of my prayers have been answered, well...that I am aware of anyway. I know that God doesn't usually answer prayers in the way that you expect, so it can can go unnoticed. But I have been praying for rain to come and fill our tank, and for three days in the last five days we have had nice heavy rain. I have been making sure to thank God and praise Him.

Though I know things happen the way He wants, and that doesn't always (actually hardly ever) end up looking the way that we expect. It does lift your faith to have a prayer answered in a way that you can actually see and recognise as an answer to a prayer, makes to soooo much easier to remember to praise God.

This rain has been so good, particularly because it has cleared up all the dust that was still in the air from the dust storms about a fortnight ago. Though the weather guy said tonight that another dust storm is on the way, not a surprise with the gail force winds we have been experiencing today.

You hear about it happening

I always hear stories about God giving scripture verses to people when they needed to hear them, I have always thought that that was great for those people but come one does that really happen?

It did to me today, I was doing my devotional this morning before my husband got up and I was flipping to a passage when Philippians opened to a page where previously I had circled a couple of verses that just shouted at me.

'Don't be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God' Philippians 4:6

'I can do all this through him who gives me strength' Philippians 4:13

These verses are just what I needed to read this morning as I prepared to go for my interview this morning. By the way I think the interview went well, not sure that I got to say everything that I wanted to say. But I tried my best and that is all that you can do. I will keep praying that I have gotten this job, it would be a great company to get involved with. But I was so blessed to get these verses this morning, they gave me the confidence that I can get this job that I am what this company is looking for.

Another go...

I have another interview tomorrow, this time thankfully it is not a group interview. Though I think that I did well, I am glad for a more normal format. Just me and the person (s) interviewing me. Sigh of relief.

But biggest issue now is what to wear, my interview is with an outdoor clothing and equiptment company. Which suits me really really well, I love hiking, bushwalking and camping (even if my poor husband doesn't), so working for a company which will encourage that side of me would be / will be great! But I believe that what you wear reflexs the person who you are, or at the very least what perceptions your interviewer makes. So I am thinking that dressing up in a kind of suit format might not reflext how much I love the outdoors and make me look like more of an indoor type. Soooooo not me!

I am thinking of going with jeans and a nice top, as well as my favourite shoes of the moment my sketchers. They are a great choice (so I say myself) they are black kind of casual but still professinal looking and above all COMFORTABLE!

What is the one thing that I can bring to this position that no one else can? Support for the manager, always will to do whatever I am needed to do, love helping others but am prefectly capable of stepping up and being a leader when I am needed. But I also believe that being a leader means recoginsing strenghts in team memebers and using those strenghts to get the best out of that person and the rest of the team. On a side note I have GOD, and prayer. I have been praying everyday, and have been asking for pray from people who I trust.

'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible' Matthew 19:26

This is probably one of the few things in my life that I have total trust in God about, I know that no matter what God is going to show me what job he wants me to have, and if I am not meant to get a job right now then whatever is suppose to happen will happen. Honestly I have real issues trusting God with a whole lot of stuff in my life, as everyone does. Havn't met any christian who doesn't struggle with totally trusting God, or who doesn't at one time or another doubted God. I do on a daily basis, weekly, monthly, yearly basis.

So I hope that you will all be praying for me at 10:10am on Monday 12th October, I know that it is possible for me to get this job. I actually have experience this time, I am what this company is looking for. Time to dive right in.

Today it's Friday

End of another week, this week has been one of my busiest. This morning I was doing my daily devotion and it really hit home.

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart...' Deuteronomy 6:5

The devotional that cam along with this verse wasn't what you would expect associated with this verse, but it did speak to me alot. It talked about the different masks we put on for other people and different situations. And how we can't and shouldn't try to do that with God, that he knows us behind the mask, and that we should take the masks off and love the Lord with all your heart (Deut 6:5).

I defiantly know that I do this, or was doing this alot. Especially at work, I felt alot of pressure to be just like everyone else. Everyone was into (on pretending to be into) grooming and the way they looked and I was buying into it. I became obsessive about the way I was presenting at work, whether I had a hair out of place or a pimple. Everyone was into golf (which I do enjoy but only in a par 3 setting, which was looked down on) and my boss was into yoga and obsessively into 'healthy living'. None of that is me I shouldn't need to put on a mask to be accepted by others. I need to focus more on loving God and that attitude will shine through.

I get my devotions from UCB Word 4 U 2 day, it is a great devotional series for teenagers and young adults. You can get your copy on their website www.word4U2day.com.au (only available in Australia).

Maybe.....

Ok....what am I doing? I have been unemployed for something like a month and I honestly still feel like I am walking in circles. What on earth is God's Plan for me? There is one thing I am very aware of, right now me not having a job has been good for other people. I am able to do things for others that I wouldn't have been able to do if I was working. Maybe that is my path right now, being there for others.

I have done a few favours for Mum & Dad, picking up their dogs from the groomers and picking up my sister from her work. I have been able to look after our nephew for my husbands brother and his wife, and also have been available to help them pack and in the next couple of days move to their new house. I have been doing alot of helping, I defiantly enjoy being there for friends and family who need that extra set of hands.

Our car is starting to look like a moving company, with boxes and newspaper!

Though I do feel like I am walking in circles, I am actually satisfied with the way things are. I defiantly think that my sense of satisfaction comes from helping others and that I am really taking the time to have some personal time with God. I have been doing a daily devotional and spending alot of time preparing for Tuesday Night Bible Study. At Tuesday Bible Study we have been doing a great series by our Pastor on different Religions, it has been great getting a real understanding of the history and origins of some of the biggest and most popular religions and also where their short comings lie and how Christianity is always the only way. But I will talk more about that another time, stay tuned!

It's October

Might be kind of obvious but it's true. We have had a rather big weekend here in our house, well not all of it was in this house but anyway. Friday night was my husbands sisters birthday party so we went to my in-laws (which is where she still lives, with Dog and Highland Cow). One of the trees down the backyard was strung with fairy lights and a couch had been set up, it looked great. Might do that for my husbands birthday this year. The rest of the week was spent looking after our nephew, he stayed over Friday night & was suppose to stay over Saturday night but he was having alot of trouble breathing due to asthma so we called his parents and they took him home late Saturday night so he could have his asthma medication. Poor little boy.

Last month was a interesting month to say the very least......what with me losing my job and really having to look at my life and where God's plan was leading me. I always felt that that particular job wasn't going to be a career, there was no opportunity for advancement or growth of any kind, the position that I had was the position that I was always going to have. Also felt that there was a bit of opposition to my Christianity and my wanting to attend church on Sunday's as much as possible. I am still honestly much happier now than I was this time last month when I was working.

Still not much happening on the finding a job front, had one group interview and one telephone interview but no call backs out of either. But I have been consistently applying for jobs and I have faith that the job that God has for me is right around the corner.

A couple of days ago I decided to take some photos of things around the house that mean something to me

This is something we did at Girls group (girls only bible study), everyone wrote their name on the top of a piece of paper, then the pieces of paper were passed around and everyone wrote something positive & affirming about that person on their piece of paper. I absolutely love mine, I framed it and it sits next to my scrapbooking desk. I look at it when ever I need a lift.

I actually painted this, something that I have always wanted to do. I am the first to admit that I am not a very good painter. But I am still very proud of this effort. I love having artwork around the house that was created by people we know, fills the house with the love and effort that went into each artwork.

This is the first & easiest artwork I made for our house, out of total necessity. Our bedroom has a bad echo so I made this artwork to help absorb noise (and it looks great!). All it is is a square canvas and a piece of fabric, which I stapled onto the canvas and hung in our bedroom. Couldn't be easier.

A wonderful birthday present from my thoughtful husband, this canvas hangs above our bed (helping with the echo issue again). It hangs on an existing hook which is slightly off centre to the bed so I am planning on making three smaller canvas's with our initials and the date of our wedding. Also going to use this project ideas as something to do with the Girls group at church, I had a request for something 'arty'.

This next month is full of promise and opportunity can't wait to see what is to come.

Refreshed & Recharged

Maybe not so refreshed.......We have just come back from a weekend camp with our churches Youth group & Young adults group down the coast in a beautiful hinterland location. It was a great event! Very challenging and confronting, alot was talked about not compartmentalising or individualising our faith as christians. For me persoanlly I have been trying to figure out what God's Plan for me is, where my path is leading me? Not sure if this weekend answered that question for me but my heart was tugged by ideas, I want to get back into some volunteer work, but I am trying to be realistic that I can't do any more volunteer work without having a job first to help pay for the travel associated with volunteer posistions.

Over the weekend I also attended a talk about sexual issues & the church, it was a rather confronting talk. Not sure where I stand, think I need to go over the notes we were given and really read and pray over the verses we were given. The one thing I know is that these issues are something that needs to be talk about with our Youth and Young adults. I did feel that this talk was something that I can keep in my mind when we are doing more Girls Only Events. Girls Only Events are definatly something that I want to keep going, that it is important for girls (of all ages for that matter) to know that they are loved as-they-are by our God the creator of the Universe, and that we (as girls) need to be confident in that knowledge and comfortable with who we are.

Personally I am comfortable with who I am, but I don't always do what I know is best for me. Sometimes just following other, going with the flow, is just easier. This was another typic that was covered over the weekend. The one bit that I really took away from this particular topic is that it is ok that I am married and don't have kids, that it is a pressure that is place upon women from within the church. Get married and then have kids. You can not make anyone else happy, people are always going to want something else from you. Girls you are fearfully and wonderfully made, just-as-you-are. You are loved by our father in heaven and he knows what is to come in your path, just trust him and obey.

Group Interview

Well here I am back from my group interview in the city. I will totally admit to not feeling too good about the interview, I had no idea what to expect or if I could even directly compete with others in such a way. But things I think went really well, I had my husband with me which was great as he is a manager of a store and we talked about what he would want to hear from an applicant for the type of position I was going for.

Got there alittle early, enough time to go to the bathroom and freshen up abit (was wearing black pants and it was alittle hot in the city today). then I sat down with the other people who had also turned up for the interview, made eye contact with everyone and tried to be apart of the conversation that was going on. Then we went in.....

We all took our seats, I sat in the front row and tried to sit pretty central and made alittle small talk with the person who I was sitting next to. First thing we had to do was to introduce ourselves and answer a few questions so that the interviewers could get to know us. Personally thought what I said was the best, but that is completely my own opinion. Tired to be first but they decided to go around the room so I ended up being about 3rd last, tried to learn from what the people ahead of me were saying, and listened intently to each person, smiling when they would make eye contact with me. Wanted to appear supportive and friendly.

Next we played a game, it was very simple we just sat in a circle and said one word each that described the company that we were applying to work for. Again felt like I did pretty well, only passed once and tried to recall as much as I could from the research that I did about the company the night before, soooo glad that I did that really helped.

Then we moved onto selling, there were a few people who didn't have any sale experience so I felt quite comfortable here, being that I have had 1 year of sale experience. Just tried to apply that experience and the sale technique that I have used in the past to this new area. Seem to work quite well. Got a chance to chat with another girl, tried the whole way through to build relationship with the people who were interviewing us and with those who were sitting around me.

Next we did role plays, this is something that I have never quite enjoyed, but have found if you just go first you get marked better and is over much quicker. This time I took the chance and volunteered to be the Manager of the store, trying to pick an idea to the manager of a fitness centre, really think that I had some good ideas that really seemed to do well with the interviewers.

And then it was over, over all it was scary or nerve racking and I will say that I also probably enjoyed myself. Felt that I show my personality and got across that I believe that I would be the right person for the job. So now all I have to to is wait to see if I get a call for the second round of interviews, these will be one on one a format that I am much more familiar with.

To finish I just want to say a big "Thank You" to my wonderful husband who made the trip into the city with me I really appreciated the support and advice. Now it is just a matter of waiting to see if this is going to be my new path that God as set out for me.

Keeping busy

Busy, busy, busy you are told to keep busy, keep your brain occupied and you won't be depressed or go crazy. I still replayed the moment over and over in my head for days, still do now. But I have been blessed with an event that I started to organise a couple of week before I got fired.

Girls only events, something we thought up to get the girls at church together who were going away to camp together (this weekend actually). We had a chocolate night last night, took alittle planning up it was worth it. This event was a welcome distraction, and maybe this is God telling me that this is what he wants me to do with my life. I do feel an affiliation with girls, and more so that just because I am a girl. I want the girls at church to know that they have someone that they can talk to, someone who has been there. Especially for the girls who are the oldest in their families, they I feel a special affiliation with afterall I am the oldest in my family. This event has been a great distraction, and I am really looking forward to doing something else.

Speaking of new paths, I have a job interview. 2IC position, with a sporting apparel store, alittle outside my personality but I do love being active. Thing is it's a group interview in the city, abit scary. When I got the email my first reaction was "no not for me", but moving forward does mean taking new chances, pushing myself and this is defiantly pushing myself. I will let you know how it goes.

Changing moment

I was watching Dr Phil one day and he made a statement that really made me stop and think, 'who you are can be defined by by 3 defining moments and is affected by 10 people' or is it the other way around? Something like that anyway. Then I couldn't really think of too many moments that were 'defining moments' times when my life too a distinctively different turn.

Until now.......I got fired a week ago. Through my own stupidity and probably arrogance, I got fired. This is the first time I have lost a job, through being fired. Funny thing is I didn't really cry, I got depressed but I was and am determined to put everything behind me and move forward.

That is what this blog is about moving forward, I don't know where I am going or what God has planned for me. Here I go...........