Showing posts with label negative thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative thoughts. Show all posts

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Something that spoken to my heart

I was doing my bible reading this morning and this verse which I had previously highlighted but still loved the words, and I think that it was something that I needed to hear.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:2

I have been learning to rely on God more in my daily life, especially now with my unemployment which I have been struggling with. The enemy has been flooding my head some days with negative thoughts and guilt, but I have been fighting those thoughts and feelings. And this verse certainly does help the fight. No matter how I feel or what is going on God will not leave me, He has always been there, and when things are at it's worse I can rest in His embrace until I am strong enough to continue on.

I don't think that I have ever been so focused on fully relying on God this much before, I know through talking with my Pastor and my wonderful husband that I have to turn to God in this time, and He will give me the strength and guidance that I need. And that is so true, I can a test to that.

If that is one piece of advice that I can give to anyone who is unemployed and is struggling with depression and guilt, turn to God open a Bible and start reading. Also pray daily for guidance and strength.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Sorry I've been gone

Well it has been awhile, another new month has begun. Nothing really has changed since this time last month. Still unemployed, still searching. Honestly things have been getting harder, those negative thought have been alittle hard to silence at the moment. Though I havn't been being as proactive as I possibly should be with keeping active. I seem to have slipped into sitting on the couch, eating and watching the clock waiting for my husband to come home.

That has got to change, and it will change. Next week I am going to get into the garden, I am going to clean the house, sort my scrapbooking room and reorganise the kitchen if I have to. But there is no way I can let these voices beat me.

It would have to be one of the hardest things, silencing the voices. They seem to be getting louder and louder lately. My Pastor said that I have to think of something else that those voices could do me alot of harm (mentally). It is really hard to make purposeful changes to your inbuilt behaviour. I have to come up with a list of things that I can look forward to, things to aim for. That I think will be the secret of surviving this chapter of my life, this turning point. Please pray for strength for me.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Something I should have done, and highly recommend

Last Friday while me and my husband were at our church's youth group, and I was chatting with our Pastor he was asking how I was going. Just after I got fired I had asked to get some counseling so I could just work through how I was feeling, but things came up and I was able to go through with the counseling. On Friday night our Pastor brought up the counseling and I thought that it was a good idea.

So that is where I went today; and honestly I am glad that I did. It was just nice to talk about everything, not just about losing my job but also about other things in my life that have or are affecting me. He also helped me develop a sort of plan of attack, especially when it comes to the negative thoughts from the enemy that can sometimes get into my head.

1/ Recognise the negative thoughts for what they are and make an effort change my thinking to something more positive.

2/ Set a side 1 to 3 afternoons a week as active job search days, where I drop off resumes search the internet and go and join job agencies.

3/ Go and do some work with a volunteer organisation, thinking about going back to work for a rainforest reserve or local zoo.

4/ As a last resort think about furthering my education, doing a bridging course and becoming a teacher (not sure about this one, not sure if teaching is really for me)

The most important thing is that I have someone other than my husband to be accountable for. That I think is going to be the key to fighting the negative thought and depressive feelings that I have been struggling with.

I am so blessed to have such a caring and supportive Pastor, sometimes you can feel alittle isolated when you have been unemployed for an extended period of time but my Pastor didn't forget, and has always just checked in from time to time. Counseling is something that I totally recommend, especially if you can find some who you can be accountable to, especially if you are finding it hard to stay motivated. Which I am starting to find difficult.

My Pastor did bring up something that I hadn't thought of but know of all to well, that I have to be open that my not having a job right now could have a really important reason behind it. I have experienced that often in the last few years, I was at the first job for 5 years I didn't like the job and tried everything to get another job. Then my Mum had to be hospitalised with depression for a whole year and I had to look after her and my siblings as my Dad had to move north for work. Then a few years later Mum suffered complications from some heart surgery and I sat by her side and helped Dad look after himself and my sister. I wouldn't have been able to be there for my family if not for my boss at my first job, he allowed me to reduce my hours where needed and have time off when I required it, he was a blessing and I am very grateful for him. I have had opportunity to help friends and family over the last month and a bit (which I have spoken about in previous blogs).

Ultimately I know that God has a plan for my life, just don't know what that plan is or what will happen in the future. Who knows we might start a family and won't have to worry about finding a new job at all, well...God knows, he just won't let on. But I will keep praying and reading my bible, oh yeah and having faith.